Dear Hewlett-Packard

Dear HP,

A few months ago I bought a MacBook Pro, which I love. As a promotional incentive, the company I purchased it from included a free HP wireless printer, which I DON’T love.

I’m writing this letter to complain, not about the printer (which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t), but about the amount of spam your company is filling my inbox with every day.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE STOP!

Believe me, if I had ever thought about buying any of your products, you have convinced me that that would be a major mistake. What makes you think I need to hear from you on a daily basis? Trust me, I don’t. Never is about the right interval for sending me spam.

Even at the incredibly low price of $0.00, I’m regretting taking your product. I was under the impression that nothing could be worse than the LexMark printer I had before installing your product, however, I’m finding myself wishing I had not given that piece of sh*t away. At least when it didn’t work I could figure out why and fix it.

I’m posting this letter with the hope you will take notice and do something to stop the spam from arriving in my inbox. I’ll make you a deal: you stop spamming me, and I’ll stop telling people what crap your products are.

Thanks for listening.