Alan Chin Finally Enters The 21st Century

Yes, everyone, yesterday I became the very last gay man in America to own a smart phone. I held out for as long as I could, but my partner put his foot down, and dragged me into the 21st Century.

Herman drove me to Costco, where I spent two hours having a very cute salesman walk me through the setup and basic operation of my Samsung Galaxy S4. Yes, kids, over much protest, I did not get an iPhone. Being a diehard Apple fan, I kept asking why Samsung? Herman kept rolling his eyes, and explained in slow speech, as if I were a two-year-old, “Because this model has twice the functionality as the iPhone.” I wasn’t buying it. Then he said, “The battery charge last three times as long as the iPhone.” I still wasn’t buying. He finally said, “It has the best camera on the market. Much better pictures than the iPhone, that I can post on FB right from the phone.” Sold.

Why was Herman so insistent? I’m convinced there is a tracking app on this damn thing so he can know my whereabouts at all times. Actually, it’s because when we attend functions, I have a habit of wandering off in a daze. He wants a way to call me to find where I’ve wandered. Also, I’m thinking he’s feeling guilty that during dinner, when he’s surfing the web on his phone, I feel ignored. He figures I can now surf too. Fat chance.

I may use it to read books while he surfs. I’ve already got a Kindle app. I’ve also downloaded a Pandora app, so I can now listen to my favorite music regardless of where I am.

Actually, I’m already liking it. I’ve started managing my email and FB from the phone, which means a lot less time sitting at my computer. This phone seems to have as much functionality as my laptop, and will take months to figure out all the different apps. I just hope I don’t turn into one of these people that if you ask a question, they whip out their phone and surf Google for the answer.

Yes, the 21st Century is looking pretty good so far.