An Old Joke that Writers Can Appreciate

Below is an old joke that I've seen several times. It came my way again and I though I would pass it on to everyone here. Hope you enjoy it.

A writer died and was given the choice of going to heaven or hell.

The writer thought she'd check out each place before making her decision. So with an angelic escort she descended the brimstone steps to the fiery pits and here she entered a grimy sweatshop and saw rows and rows of writers chained to their desks. As the writers worked on their manuscripts they were repeatedly whipped with cats-o-nine tails.

"Oh gosh golly," the writer told the angel, "I'd better go check out heaven now!"

So they walked back up the brimstone steps and now proceeded up the golden steps that led to Heaven. Here the writer entered another sweatshop, and here again were rows of writers chained to their desks. Just like in Hell, the writers were whipped with cats-o-nine tails as they struggled over every precious word and vital scene in their stories.

The writer was confused. "But this is just as awful as hell!"

"Certainly not!" protested the angel. "Here, your work actually gets published!"

A Scary Beginning

Have you ever planned a nice relaxing few days, and before it gets going something dreadful happens? You think, ‘Oh God, what else will go wrong,’ and you end up worrying the whole time? That could have been my last two days, but I luckily escaped.

Herman and I are staying in a B&B over a restaurant/bar in Hanoi, Vietnam. We’ve been here a week and it’s a charming little place. It’s four floors and we have the top floor as our apartment.

Two days ago, the manager arranged for us to be picked up at the front door at 8a.m., where we would be taken to Halong Bay for a two day cruise on one of the most scenic places in the world. I was excited and hurried through my morning shower. While I was drying myself, I bumped the plumbing fixtures coming out of the wall, and they simply broke off. Water sprayed out of the wall, threatening to flood the building. I couldn’t turn it off!

I jumped into my pants and dashed downstairs. At that early hour, only the bartender had arrived and was sweeping the floor. He didn’t speak much English, but I managed to convince him we had an emergency. We raced up the steps and once he saw the situation, he opened the window and jumped up onto the roof. I was a bit taken aback until I remembered that in Southeast Asia, most buildings have their water tank on the roof. He turned off the water for the entire building.

The more disturbing part was, we had to leave for our trip before I had a chance to talk to the building manager. I wanted desperately to explain, but couldn’t. We drove for three hours to Halong Bay, the whole time I stewed about what was happening back in Hanoi. I’m mean, because of me, their business was essentially shut down. How can you run a restaurant/bar without running water? I was miserable.

Luckily, once we boarded the cruise boat and shoved off, the scenery was so spectacular I was pulled into the present, and trusted that the manager would deal with the situation.

Well, long story short, I was able to enjoy my two days on the bay because there was no way to ignore the magnificence of the place, plus the staff on the boat were superb, the food exceptional. It turned out to be one of those rare treats you always hope for, and seldom find.

It was not until I got back into the car for the drive back to Hanoi that I began to worry again. However, when we arrived at out room, the plumbing was completely fixed and we had an apology waiting for us from the management. I feel so much better.

Book Review: The Nan Tu – Southern Swallow Book II By Edward C. Patterson

The Magical Adventure Continues

As a reviewer for my own glbt literature site as well as writing for three other review sites, I read a lot of glbt themed books. Many of these stories are cut from the same stamp, and I rarely enjoy them. Many are about sexy vampires and shape shifters and such, which doesn’t really twirl my skirts. Some deal with true life issues in such a way that touches me deeply, and I cherish those. But every once in a while a book comes along that has a unique voice, a fresh and vibrant set of characters, and has the ability to transport me into another world for an adventure far beyond my limited imagination. Tolkien certainly did that for me, as did Frank Herbert and Arthur C. Clark and several other fine writers. I recently experienced another such writer who took me on an adventure filled with history and magic and valor found in unexpected places. The author is Edward C. Patterson and the adventure is called the Southern Swallow series. The first book was The Academician, which delighted me with a rather touching love story. I’ve now read the second book in the series called The Nan Tu, which is the maturing of that love story into a tale of intrigue, loyalty and honor.

The Nan Tu takes the reader back into ancient China during the Sung dynasty, when the Emperor was considered the “Son of Heaven” and vast armies trembled at his every whim. Out of this rich history comes the journey of a few men who try to remold an empire out of the destruction and chaos left by warring hoards from the north, all the while being hunted by blood-thirsty bandits and The Jackal, who leads an army bent on their destruction.

One man, Li K’ai-men, must utilize the magic power of the Jade Owl to form an alliance between five men that will form a supernatural force to battle the enemy. Another man, Emperor Koa, must assume the responsibilities of The Son of Heaven, and somehow stay one step ahead of assassins and traitors long enough to form a stable government. A third, Fu Lin-t’o, the ever-faithful lover of Li K’ai-men, is challenged with keeping the Emperor’s court out of harms way. And, of course, K’u Ko-ling, Li K’ai-men’s rather clownish manservant, who has matured and become a key player in protecting the realm. There are rich descriptions of all the characters, each one bigger than life and easy to imagine.

This is a story about loyalty, duty and honor. Loyalty (and love) from scholar to his emperor, from servant to master, from lovers to each other, and from all to country and ancestors.

As with The Academician, this story is a vivid, imaginative, and often humorous romp through a pivotal point in Chinese history. Book II blossoms into a tense tale of intrigue, court politics, treachery and war. The plot is much more complex that the first book, and more interesting. It kept me up several nights, not wanting to put it down.

The narrator starts and finishes each chapter with his 1st person point of view, but the bulk of the story is told in 3rd person. I found these POV switches to be seamless, and greatly added to developing the depths of the main characters. This is a character driven story, and Patterson skillfully presents these characters with even greater depth than the first book with an excellent blend of tragedy and humor.

Because of the many different characters and locations, any reader would be greatly confused without first reading The Academician. Much like Lord of the Rings, this is one continuous story that spans several volumes, and needs to be read in order. It is not an easy read. There are so many important characters always appearing and reappearing, and so many different locations, that one needs to concentrate to keep it all in order.

The one issue I had with his book is that, because there is more story to come, it felt like the ending was flat. I was left with a feeling of incompleteness, and somewhat miffed that I must wait for another installment or two to finish the story.

The author’s consummate skill at crafting prose and his well-researched details kept me fully engaged until the last page. I would recommend this read to anyone who enjoys multifaceted characters, humor, and a well-crafted story.

For more about his book, press here.

Writing Tip #5: Your Protagonist Should Arc

Most, if not all, of your main characters should have some sort of arc, but let’s focus on the protagonist, because that’s who your story is about, and who should have the most dramatic arc.

What is an arc? It’s how a character changes from beginning to end. Stories are usually about a protag’s journey through a set of circumstances that are so powerful that they change him/her in some deep and meaningful way. In Lawrence of Arabia, Lawrence starts with a passion to avoid bloodshed; later, he comes to enjoy killing. In Casablanca, Rick steadfastly refuses to stick his neck out for anyone, yet by the end he risks his life and gives up the woman he loves in order to help the resistance.

The character arc is really what’s at the heart of a good story. What it takes to move the character from point A to point B is the story. If the character doesn’t change, you have no story.

Likewise, if you have other characters who have a more dramatic arc than your protag, they will overshadow the protag. And perhaps it’s really their story and you’ve chosen the wrong protag?

There are some famous characters who never arc. James Bond, for instance, never really changes from beginning to end. The same is true for many well-known detectives like Sherlock Holmes. That is one reason I’ve never warmed up to mystery novels. I think they’re boring. If the situation the protag battles is not somehow life-changing, then why bother? If it doesn’t affect them enough to change them in some meaningful way, why should it mean anything to me, the reader?

There is one gay mystery writer, whom I will not name, who writes a series of books, all with the same characters who never change. I’ve read several, and though he writes beautiful prose, the stories are dead boring. The protag solves the puzzle and that’s it. His protag always stands outside the story looking in, not really involved and has no person stake in the outcome.

Yet, I’ve read several mysteries where the detective does have a huge personal stake, where s/he is pulled into a life-threatening position and goes through an arc while solving the mystery. So it can be done, and it makes for a much better, IMHO, read.

Most readers want someone who is involved, who has a huge personal stake in the outcome, so much so that it changes how they see and interact with the world.

Character transformation is critical. Readers want goodness and justice to triumph, but we also want the characters to figure something out about themselves, become something they were not at the beginning (hopefully something that makes them a more complete person.)

I know some very talent writers who first determine how they want their main characters to be at the end of their story, then they make them exactly the opposite at the beginning, and try to figure out what must happen to change them so dramatically. Scrooge is the classic example of this. It took three ghosts and some hair-raising insights to turn him from a miserable miser into a generous and joyous person. But he arced from totally opposite poles within the span of the story.

These changes are internal, and to understand how your protag changes, you must have a very clear and detailed idea of their internal makeup at each point of your story. That means knowing your protag inside and out, and how each different adventure affects him/her. For me, that means creating comprehensive character profiles, not only for my protag, but for all my main characters. That takes work, but then, nobody ever said writing was easy.

The Goal of Writing

Often, I get upset if my novels are not selling as well as I'd like, or a review is not as glowing as I think it should be. I have to keep reminding myself why I write, and what being successful, as a writer, means to me. When I get upset or muddled, I like to read the following, which helps to put things back into perspective.

From Mr. W.Somerset Maugham.

"I have never failed to read the Literary Supplement of The Times. It is a salutary discipline to consider the vast number of books that are written, the fair hopes with which their authors see them published, and the fate which awaits them. What chance is there that any book will make its way among that multitude? And the successful books are but the successes of a season. Heaven knows what pains the author has been at, what bitter experiences he has endured and what heartache suffered, to give some chance reader a few hours' relaxation or to while away the tedium of a journey. And if I may judge from the reviews, many of these books are well and carefully written; much thought has gone to their composition; to some even has been given the anxious labour of a lifetime. The moral I draw is that the writer should seek his reward in the pleasure of his work and in release from the burden of his thought; and, indifferent to aught else, care nothing for praise or censure, failure or success."

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Book Review: The Lonely War by Alan Chin

A Brilliant Work that will Linger in your Heart and Soul,

Reviewed by Asian history scholar and noted author, Edward C. Patterson

The Lonely War is the story of a Chinese-American youth who is raised in a multi-cultural environment, schooled in Buddhism, and then is thrust into the world at war -- the US Navy during the Pacific conflict. Andrew Waters encounters every known flavor of intolerance, but because he is well grounded, strong in his pacifist convictions and emerging from the mysteries of the closet, he manages to survive events that the average person could not withstand. The issue, however, is that Andrew hasn't figured out the reason for his own existence and fosters the best part of all who encounter him, from hateful bigots, to duplicitous clergy, to prison commandants, and to wayward young men. A reader has no better guide to World War II than through Andrew Waters' soulful heart.

Alan Chin has created a realistic war novel, not the kind we imagine, but the ground level view that many veterans will easily recognize. However, whenever we feel afraid of the progression of the tale, the characters bind us to reality -- that duty and patriotism and even a hint of bravery can overcome the direst circumstances. Even death becomes a transitional state in this brilliant work. One does not generally expect tender imagery in a war novel, but Mr. Chin constantly provides us balm without becoming tedious. The only problem I had with the book is that it kept me up well after two AM each night, because I could not put it down. Just one chapter more. Just one. This happens perhaps with one in twenty or so books, and when I get one like it, I look for other works by the same author.

Two points: I particularly enjoyed the characterizations in this character driven novel. Even the "bad-guys" developed into memorable homilies. When they are exposed to the proper light, everyone can find their way to the heart of humanity. I especially enjoyed the character of Hud (Hudson), and I will say no more on that, because that would spoil the experience. I also enjoyed the absence of the usual labels for men on men relationships. They happen so organically in this novel that anyone who knows about these things will say, "Yep, that's it exactly."

The level of research is amazing. The various cultures revealed, especially Japanese and Chinese, are to the point, and I can attest to that having degrees in East Asian culture. Naval logistics are right on the money and the descriptions of Kyoto tell me that Mr. Chin has visited there in order to take me with him.

A brilliant book. I recommend it to anyone who wants a good read and lingering joy.

A Story In A Flash

Had a fantastic experience yesterday. I spent the morning working on my work-in-progress manuscript. It’s a futuristic story that takes place in Northern California. I’m about 180 pages into what I believed would be a 300 page mms. After writing, I wandered to the beach (I’m still on Phuket, but only for another day) and began reading Schindler’s List by Thomas Keneally. I came across a Talmud quote in the story. I breezed over the quote and read on, but something struck me. I hit rewind, re-read the quote and sat thinking about how it related to my own work. And in a flash, I realized what my work-in-progress story is about.

It’s funny that I could be two-thirds through a story and only now realize what the central theme is. I’m reminded of the old tale about five blindfolded men, each feeling a different part of an elephant and trying to determine what kind of animal it is. Well, the blindfold is finally off. And what I see is a much larger and complex story than I had originally grappled with, yet a much more satisfying one.

The cool part is, once I had that flash of inspiration, that knowledge of what it really is, I saw the new story unfold, much like a move, all the plot twist and reveals falling into place. Not the details, of course, but the general outline. It’s as if the story had been locked in my mind, already complete down to the last period, but I could not see it until that one key, the core theme, opened the door. And in my mind, the 300 page story jumped to 400, with some major re-writing going on up front.

Creativity is such a strange and wonderful thing.

On a different note, when I returned to my room and logoned on to the Internet, I saw an announcement of a new book by a writer not well known to me. The curious thing is, the title of the book is: Breakfast At Tiffany’s . I thought, ok, what’s your next book title, War and Peace? Gone With The Wind? Star Wars? Then I wondered, if a writer is not creative enough to come up with an original title, why would anybody bother to read their work? Am I being a snob? Perhaps. But stealing such a well known title rubs me the wrong way.