Writing Tip: Start as Deep Into The Story as Possible

There is a golden rule in screenwriting. Start a scene as late as possible and get out as early as possible. That is, don’t start a scene with a man strolling to work, walking into a building, riding up in an elevator, getting called into the boss’s office and then getting fired. Start the scene with the man already in the boss’s office saying “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME!”

This great advice goes for novels as well, both for each chapter and for the overall story.

This topic is heavily on my mind this week because I was reviewing a novel about a woman who, in 1891, leaves her husband in Boston, travels to San Francisco, boards a ship and sails to Hawaii. There she meets a lesbian and has an affair.

The real story is about the heroine’s love affair with this Hawaiian lesbian. The problem was that the novel slogged through 70 pointless pages before the heroine landed in Hawaii, and another 75 pages before she meet the love interest. After a 100 boring pages of what should have been back-story, I emailed the author to tell her I couldn’t give this novel a glowing review. She was adamant that my interest level would soon pick up and that the ending would be very satisfying. Hoping she was right, I read another 100 equally boring pages, which brought me to the book’s halfway mark. I emailed her again to inform her I would not invest any more time in her novel because I couldn’t recommend it.

She wrote back, again adamant that if I kept reading I would love the story. What she doesn’t get, is you can’t bore the reader with 200 pages of tripe before getting to the interesting part. You have to start with the interesting part. You have between ten and twenty pages to hook the reader. If you don’t grab their interest and hold it, you’re done for. And the way you do that is by getting to the point, quickly.

Start as late into the story as possible. In the example above, the story should have started with her seeing Hawaii for the first time from the ship. In chapter two, she could have given 10 pages of back-story telling why she left her husband and sailed to the islands. By chapter three she should have meet the love interest. There, 200 pages cut down to 30. And my point is, that 30 pages would have been much stronger with all the dull crap cut away.

In order to start the story as late as possible, the writer needs a clear understanding of exactly what the story is about. In the example above, the author clearly thought the story was about the heroine’s journey – NOT! The story was, or at least should have been, about the love affair.

So my tip for this week: Understand what your story is about, and get to the heart of it as quickly as possible. There are not many hard and fast rules in writing, but the cardinal sin is: BORING THE READER! Not for a chapter, not for a page.

Book Review: Big Diehl by George Seaton

Reviewed by Alan Chin
Published by MLR Press

Big Diehl (pronounced Big Deal) escapes his going-nowhere ranch life in Laramie, Wyoming the day after he graduated high school. But leaving does not erase the emotional pain inflicted by eighteen years of life with his trailer-trash father.

Diehl’s search for his place in the world leads him to an army recruiting office in Casper. While waiting for the army to process his paperwork, he is temporarily adopted by a pair of hospitable lesbians who own a local bar. They put him up at their ranch where he meets Tony, another “waif” that the ladies have taken in. As it turns out, Tony had been an exemplary Marine until he ran face first into a brick wall called “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Diehl and Tony begin to forge a relationship, but the Army intervenes and ships Diehl to boot camp.

Diehl finds Army life satisfying except for the need to hide his sexuality. Opportunities come and go with other desperately lonely souls like himself. He takes advantage of some, not others. The need for stealth limits all relationships to a one-time thing. Or is that Diehl’s emotional pain won’t let him get close to anyone?

After 9/11, Diehl finds himself a squad leader in Iraq, trying to keep his boys alive. The horrors of war and Army life shape Diehl into a man, a troubled man to be sure, but none the less a man of grit. When Diehl’s Iraq tour is suddenly cut short, he finds that he now has the strength to face his pain and confront his past. But does he have the will to fashion a more satisfying life, one where he can settle down with one man? You can ask but I won’t tell.

I found this to be a completely satisfying read. The characters and situations are completely believable. In fact, having spent four years in the Navy, during which time I hid deeply in the closet, Diehl’s experiences brought back many memories of living stealth – so many terribly lonely nights and the constant fear of being caught. This story makes a strong and clear statement about the emotional pain suffered by brave men and women honorably serving their county.

I found this read occasionally touching without becoming overly so. And although the ending is not happily ever after, it was a strong and sensible conclusion.

In addition to being emotionally stratifying, I found this story extremely well structured and well written. It has a clipped language that took me several pages to become accustomed to, but once I did I love the author’s voice.

The character of Diehl is well drawn and completely likable. If I have any minor complaint about this story is that some of the other characters could have had more depth. My only other complaint is that the story is a bit short, about 85 pages. I saw many opportunities to expand the story into something longer, but hey. I’m nit picking. I highly recommend Big Diehl.

For more information about this book, press here.

Fun With Words

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the 2009 winners:

1. /Cashtration/ (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. /Ignoranus/: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. /Intaxication/: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. /Reintarnation/: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. /Bozone/ (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. /Foreploy/: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. /Giraffiti/: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. /Sarchasm/: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. /Inoculatte/: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. /Osteopornosis/: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. /Karmageddon/: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. /Decafalon/ (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. /Glibido/: All talk and no action.

14. /Dopeler Effect/: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. /Arachnoleptic Fit/ (n..): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. /Beelzebug/ (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. /Caterpallor/ (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Book Review: The Judgment of Paris by Gore Vidal

Reviewed by Victor J. Banis
Published by De Capo Books, 2007


The Judgment of Paris is an early work from the writer who used to be Gore Vidal, which is to say, I like it lots better than his later writings, which tended to grow increasingly ponderous, and especially bitter, as the years and the words progressed. But in 1952, he was still a young man, or young enough anyway to write with a young man's verve. The wit was there—he never quite lost that—but it became more acidic and less purely funny as time went by. This is, in fact, a very funny book, a farce, but of the best kind, in which we see the world as it is, through the eyes of a keen observer of human nature.

Philip Warren is a bit shy of 30 years old and just out of law school after a stint in the U.S. Navy. Much like Charley Mason in Maugham's Christmas Holiday (which this books resembles rather more than coincidence would suppose) Philip gives himself a year to tour postwar Europe, in the course of which travels, like Paris with his golden apple (though it is not his apple with which Philip entices his co-characters) he meets and becomes involved with three women, who tempt him variously with power, wisdom and love.

No, it's not exactly a gay novel, but, puh-leeze, this is Gore Vidal. Poor heterosexual Philip can scarcely turn around without tripping over a queen or two. Here, a handsome young hustler explains the facts of Italian life to Philip: "He talked a great deal, stating, as far as Philip could tell, that all Americans, English and Germans liked Italian boys, and even Italian boys, though they didn't make too great a thing of it, liked Italian boys."

This meeting occurs at a gay bathhouse, where—here is Vidal's twisted sense of humor at its best—Philip goes not for the predictable sex, which he knows very well is what he will find there, but to meet with a trio of somewhat deranged political conspirators intent on returning Umberto to the throne of Italy and so ending the postwar Italian republic. Chief conspirator Lord Glenellen insists on buying Philip one of the Italian youths on display, who turns Philip down because he's too young and too good looking. Oh, Gore, what a tease you were.

And here an intriguing aside on the pleasures of reading about sex:

"Now, part of the pleasure one gets from reading novels is the inevitable moment when the hero beds the heroine or, in certain advanced and decadent works, the hero beds another hero in an infernal glow of impropriety. The mechanical side of the operation is of intense interest to everyone. Partly, of course, because so few of us get entirely what we want when it comes to this sort of thing and, too, there is something remarkably exciting about the sex lies of fictional characters…one feels far more clearly engaged than one does in life where the whole thing is often confused and clumsy. Also, there is a formidable amount of voyeurism in us all and literature, even better than pornographic pictures, provides us at its best with an excitation occasionally more poignant than the real thing."

Despite some earlier successes (The City and the Pillar among them) this might be said to be the first true Gore Vidal novel, when at last he found a voice worthy of his talent. A delightful read!

Writing Tip #1

I’m currently helping an unpublished writer rework his manuscript. During my editing, I’ve come across numerous issues that many beginners struggle with, some of which took me years to overcome. While writing one of my frequent messages to him on why active verbs are preferable to passive, I decided to start documenting this information I’m passing him, in case others might find value in my limited experience.

So with that said, I plan to post one tip per week, hopefully every Monday, documenting something I believe will help beginning writers. I am by no means an expert on writing, on anything really, but with two published books under my belt an another looking for a publisher, I feel I have some amount of experience to offer.

If you are beyond my level of advice, then my hat is off to you and I wish you success in your writing. If you find value in these tips, I’m grateful to have helped someone a few more inches down the writing path.

My first tip is perhaps my most valuable: WRITE & READ EVERY DAY!

I believe the most useful thing a writer can do to improve their craft is to practice it daily. Sitting under a tree thinking of plot structure and character development is time well spent but it doesn’t get the baby washed. Writers write. Serious writers write every day.

The act of writing will develop your voice and style, even if you’re writing garbage. And yes, allow yourself to write garbage because that is far better than not writing. The more you write, the better your garbage gets.

I feel that it’s also important to establish a routine, say, write two hours every morning, or two hours before bed. Setting aside a certain time of day trains your mind when to jump into that creative mode. It becomes automatic, or at least easier. I prefer mornings, 7am to 11am. I sometimes push it into the afternoon if I’m in a groove.

I know some published writers who try to squeeze in writing whenever they have a few moments, or a spare hour. I honestly don’t see how they manage to get anything done. My feeling is, if you’re serious about your craft, you make the time, even if you have to wake yourself a few hours early and go without sleep, or miss your favorite TV shows. If you are not serious about your craft, why bother?

Excellence is won by training and habituation. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. – Aristotle

The second most valuable thing a writer can do is read daily. Read a book a week. Study how other authors handle character development, plot structure, sentence structures. There is a wealth of fantastic examples out there waiting to teach you, and all you have to do is pick them up and read. Read everything – dead authors, really dead authors, live authors, fiction, memoirs, biographies. It’s important to read tons in your own genre, but it’s equally important to branch out.

Pick the best of breed in each genre, which doesn’t mean the best sellers. It takes a bit of work to find the really fine writers. When you come across an author that strikes a cord within you, read everything they’ve written. Good writing touches peoples’ inner feelings. If you find a writer who can do that to you, study him/her.

Pictures of Perfection by Reginald Hill

Reviewed by Victor Banis
Published by Dell Publishing

Like a number of British mystery writers, it seems to me, Reginald Hill is something of an acquired taste for Americans, notwithstanding that some of his Dalziel/Pascoe stories have been successfully transformed into television movies, I like them, the books I mean, not the least for the way in which he brings his repeat gay character, Sergeant Wield, into the plots without making much of an ado about his sexuality. He's out to his fellow officers, but in a very much ho-hum way.

I was surprised, however, to discover in PICTURES OF PERFECTION that Wield becomes pretty much the main character, and even seems to be, by book's end, in the way of a relationship. This strikes me as a bold move for an author of Hill's standing, whose audience, I feel sure, is somewhat a different one from Suzanne Brockman's. But I must quickly confess, I am far from having read all Hill's books (I'm trying to drag out the experience), and maybe he has done this elsewhere as well, in which case, I would be glad to hear of it.

Apart from the gay element, PICTURES is a most satisfactory read on all fronts - always assuming your cup of tea. I suppose it would be categorized as "an English Village Mystery" if there is such a genre, in so far as I can't imagine how it could be moved anywhere else. Indeed, the village of Enscombe is an important character in the book and by the time you've finished reading, you feel you know it well.

Young Constable Bendish, posted to the village, seems to have disappeared—or has he? Dalziel and Pascoe want to be sure he hasn't just gone a'fishing, and they send Wield to Enscombe to sort things out. What results is, as always with Hill's writings, witty and erudite. Nothing is what it seems, everyone has secrets, and The Fat Man (Dalziel) breaks rules and wind with equal ease. I find myself especially interested, as a writer, with Hill's legerdemain in describing his characters - he does, and he doesn't. I think I know, for instance, what Wield looks like - homely, it would seem. Or, maybe not. Other characters in the book clearly don't find him so, and when I go back to look, I can't find where Hill ever offered that description. He is a master at making you think he's told you more than he really has. Writing by insinuation, I suppose you'd call it.

Whatever you call it, however, it's masterful stuff, the kind of writing where you have to pause from time to time and go back over a line to savor it fully before you swallow and digest it.

I'm quite sure this is not for everybody. Certainly if one is looking for erotic, there's nothing here of that sort, though I must admit I got a nice little titter out of the business of the naked policeman scampering about in, it is made quite clear, an aroused state. For true mystery fans, however, this is the real thing, and it is a surprisingly delicious tidbit for the thinking reader - emphasis on "thinking."

For more about this book, press here.

Two wonderful things happened today

My day started with an email from a fan. It's the first email I've received regarding my new book The Lonely War, and it made my day:

"Dear Mr. Chin,
I justed wanted to let you know that I read recently your new book "The Lonely  War" and I loved it immensely. Parts of it made me cry. The book has a lot  depth and great spiritual wisdom. Thanks for writing it.  Kind regards Ursula"
I'm sharing this not only to brag, but to let people know how much a simple note like this means to any author. I was floating on cloud nine all day. 
So please, if you read a book that touches you in some way, take a few minutes to google the author and send them a note of thanks.  It really makes a huge difference.
The second thing that happened is that I finished the first draft of my second screenplay. I've been working on it off and on since last summer, and the full story is now down on paper.
Now the real work begins - the rewrites, the fighting to get every word right, the endless hours of proofreading. From here on out it's work, baby. 
So I'm hoisting a glass a beer tonight to celebrate the completion of the 1st draft.