The Essence of Zen Practice

The old adage “A picture is worth a thousand words” is often true. I’ve been studying and practicing Zen for going on forty years, and I resently came a cross a picture on FB that encapsulated my impression of what Zen Practice is all about. Buddhist call it being mindful. New Age folks often call it staying in the moment. Whatever you call it, I believe the picture below clearly shows the essence of Zen practice, and the secret to a happy life.

Why I Travel

At home in Palm Springs, my life feels comfortable, gratifying, yet often dull and repetitive and predictable. But when Herman and I travel, even to places that we’ve been to many times, every day seems exciting. I pay closer attention, and I notice things I’ve never seen before. I feel more alive, as if something mysterious is always just around the corner.

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” – Mark Twain

“Traveling is one of the easiest ways to become aware of the magic that weaves all of creation together through serendipity and synchronicity with perfect timing.” – Adam Siddiq

Another Day of Mass Death

Woke up to another day of sadness. One shooter with an assault rifle, fifty-eight dead, over five hundred injured. My heart weeps for these people locked in this tragedy. I weep for all Americans who wish to live in peace and security, and who reject violence.

And I ask myself the same question I’ve asked many times over the years: How many innocent people must die from gun violence before the people of this country snap out of their inanity and outlaw assault weapons? Fifty thousand? A hundred thousand? A million?

How many parents must lose a child? How many spouses must lose the love of their life? So much loss, so much anguish, and for what? So a few million people can feel empowered? Can’t we find a better way to empower people? A way that lifts us all up, instead of taking precious life?

Rest in Peace, Hef

Hugh Hefner just died at 91. I was part of that joke "who reads Playboy articles?" The answer was - tons of people, even gay men like me. They published some of the best writers in America, fought for overturning censorship and government intervention into people's private lives, racism, on and on. When I was in my 20s, he owned two magazines, Playboy and OUI. The latter was sleek, irreverent, edgy: the European-style alternative to Playboy's "girl next door" style. They hired young editors and young writers, and many writers got their first exposure at Playboy (no pun intended). The two magazines published Charles Bukowski, Gay Talese, Norman Mailer, Alex Haley. Several years ago, with circulation shrinking, they went to a bi-monthly magazine. 

His definition of obscenity was "war, racism, bigotry, poverty, and injustice." I never had the opportunity to me Hugh Hefner, but he impacted me, and he impacted what and who we are as a nation. I'm a fan and always was. Rest in Peace, Hef.

The Characters I Write

My career as a writer had been occupied in writing about characters who don’t fit into the social patterns. Most of my protagonists are gay men, but not all. These characters are very varied; some don’t fit in because of sheer defiance, some because they are terrified of society, some are simply scandalous. There are some, however, who have such a high degree of integrity that they don’t fit in anywhere in a world tainted by corruption.

The one thing they all have in common is that they are outsiders. They have many voices, and all sing, some loudly and some whisper, against the social norms. They are people who have few friends, yet value absolute loyalty to the personal relationships they find, they cling to those relationships as the plot darkens and they must fight to save themselves and the people that matter to them.

E.M. Forster once said: “If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.” This, I believe goes to the heart of my outsider characters that I try to create. I’ve always regarded loyalty to friends and loved ones as going beyond admirable to heroic. It represents the best qualities of the outsider.

I write about outsiders because I believe the outsider is, should be, really, one of the most socially valuable people in the whole community. Because he/she often, more often than not, challenges the social norms, doing what he/she thinks is right, rather than what’s accepted or easy.

Admittedly, I’ve always felt myself to be an outsider, and not by choice. So that by creating these characters, I’m questioning my own experience, what I am and what I am becoming. I create these characters and plots to find out if there’s meaning in the external world for me, and then, I suppose, if I decide that there isn’t, to impose a meaning of my own.

There are as many reasons to write and create characters as there are writers, but I’m explaining what I feel motivates me as a writer, and that is my own experience. I take those different experiences and mold them into a real constructed, contrived novel or short story which has a plot played out in action and also a philosophical plot which either proves or disproves a question, which it the story’s main theme. It has motifs as in a symphonic work, and it comes to a conclusion. But at the heart of that plot are the main characters, and I tend to paint a detailed portrait of these characters. And within the heart of these characters lies the soul of the outsider struggling against society for ideas they believe are truth and just.

Steve Gregoire’s Passing

It’s been a sad day for Herman and myself.  Today we mourn the loss of our dearest friend Steven Gregoire, one of the kindest, most likable guys we will ever know. They say you’ll be fortunate to have five true friends throughout your lifetime. Steve was one of mine. He and Herman were lovers for twenty-one years, and then he became our closest friend for the next twenty-three years. We’ll miss you terribly, Steve.

From left to right, Steven, Herman, Alan

Belated B-day Dinner Get-together at Michelin Star Eatery

A festive B-day dinner at a one Michelin Star restaurant...absolutely well earned. Lovely food, lovely wine, lovely friends to share the moment.

Terrapin Creek Restaurant.

The line up of good friends looks like a motley crew

Salad of Charred Octopus and Roasted Cauliflower

HAMACHI Crudo - lovely raw fish

Local Miyagi Oysters

Liberty Farms Duck Breast - black forbidden rice, cabbage, English peas carrots, duck jus

Thank you Malcolm and Pic for this delicious wine.

A belated BD celebration for Herman with extra deserts from chef owner Andrew Tran.