Up To My Neck

Ever find that you’ve bitten off much more than you can chew, and you sit there wondering what the hell you can do about it? That was my day.

Thursday night I few back home after a four month trip to China, Thailand and Vietnam. During my travels, I managed to get some work done on my work-in-progress novel and two screenplays. I also managed to get a lot of reading done and reviewed several fine books. I still had four or five books to review, but that’s not too much to get excited about.

But then my next-door neighbor paid a visit. While I was away, every time someone delivered a box of books, he took them. Authors and publishers have sent me dozens of books to review. Some I asked for and some I didn’t. Now, instead of the five books to review that I knew about, I have twenty-five books to review.

It generally takes me one to two weeks to carefully read and review a book. That means I have six to ten months of work ahead of me. The good news is that there are some excellent books on the list that I want to read. The bad news is that I didn’t want to work that hard. I wanted to concentrate on my writing, not reviewing other writers.

So it’s been a somewhat depressing day. I did manage to log them all and prioritize them. Maybe I should look into a speed reading course?

A Chore Day

Today has been a chore day. I flew into SFO last night as the sunset. It was stunning. I’ve seen some impressive sights in the last few months, the Hong Kong skyline for instance. But none I enjoy more than seeing San Francisco from the air. This really is a special city, unique in so many ways.

Took about two hours to wade through customs and catch the airporter bus home.
Even though I was dead tired from a the eleven-hour flight from Hong Kong, I was also wired at being home, so not much sleep last night.

Been fighting jet-lag all day. Not much energy, getting confused easily, starting tasks and then forgetting what I was doing. Bottom line: it has not been a stellar day for me. Still, it feels so damned good to be home after four months of living out of a suitcase.

I did manage to get a few things checked off my todo list – something like three of the ten things I had planned to do. LOL.

Oh well, I think I’ll let myself off the hook and just go crawl back into bed for a half-hour nap. Naps are important, more so the older one gets, and I’m feeling pretty old today.

So I’ll wrap this up and try to post an update tomorrow.

Book Review: To Love and To Cherish edited by Beth Wylde and Lara Zielinsky

Reviewed by Victor Banis
Published by LoveYouDivine Press
Anthology, Various Authors, edited by Beth Wylde and Lara Zielinsky
Available in e-book and print format from www.loveyoudivine.com

I confess, when the idea first came up, of my writing a review for a collection of lesbian love stories, that I had some reservations—not about reading the stories, I felt sure simply by looking at the names of the authors that they would be of a high quality, but rather about my ability to do this important collection justice. I say important because all of the stories were donated by the authors, and all of the proceeds from the book are donated to Marriage Equality USA "which continues the fight in courtrooms around the country to secure civil marriage rights for GLBTQ couples across the U.S." So, important indeed, and surely, I thought, above my pay grade.

Of course, I had no sooner started reading than I realized the fallacy in my thinking. "Lesbian love stories" is, really, the wrong label to paste on this wonderful collection. They are love stories, pure and simple, and love doesn't know the difference. Which is, of course, the whole point of the project. Two women may make love differently from what two men or a man and a woman may do, but it is the height of absurdity to suppose that they don't love the same.

Love is what it is. Some abuse it, some shun it, and not a few have made careers of it, of one sort or another. Centuries of poets and philosophers have tried to define it. Unfortunately, we live in an age that tries to confine it. None of these efforts, it seems to me, have met with unqualified success. Outlaw love as you will, you cannot stop it from springing up in the human heart. There is nothing in the perusal of history to suggest that any social context, whether flagrantly liberal or crushingly priggish has ever significantly changed the numbers of those who are attracted to members of their own sex, though they may be more or less open about it according to the dictates of their society.

The idea of same sex love as somehow unnatural is another absurdity. We know now that same sex couples are commonplace throughout nature, in species too numerous to list here. Most animals don't attach much importance to it. Only humans seek to suppress it. Sadly, in this country, there are those who actively push to keep it outside the sanctity of marriage.

Well, this is a mighty push back, and as exuberant a statement on the beauty of woman to woman love as one is likely to find. There are fourteen heartfelt stories included in the anthology, too many for me to attempt to review them individually. They represent fourteen different points of view and are of varying degrees of erotic intensity—okay, saying it plainly, some of them surely do sizzle.

Setting the parameters, as it were, are two unique stories: Allison Wonderland pens a charming tale, The Felicity of Domesticity, of two little girls who knew already as children that they were destined to be wed. And in This Magic, Meg Leigh gives us a haunting and all too rare glimpse from an older sister's point of view, as she looks back through the mists of time at the love she knew.

But I don't mean to suggest that anything in between those two extremes is at all inferior. The characters here are a wonderfully divergent bunch of women--butch, femme, elegant, folksy, angry and serene, struggling to define their relationships, to come to terms with themselves and with family, and to explore their unique sexuality. The stories are charming, sad, sexy, slapstick funny. There are tales of paganism and wiccan and Native American rituals and the perils of cooking for those who can't, quite. There's hardly a taste in reading or a style in writing that isn't well represented here and I can confidently assure the reader who invests in a copy that she or he will close this book knowing that the money was well spent.

An excellent tribute to a genre, a gender, a lifestyle, and a welcome addition to the literature of love. Well done, all.

The Loney War

Here's a video by Fausto Umanzor a fan of The Lonely War.

Links: YouTube Animoto

Writing Tip #7 – Don’t be afraid to get it wrong.

My husband, Herman, has taken several screenwriting classes with me and also participates in a weekly writing group of screenwriters. Last summer he outlined an excellent idea for a script, and then spent several weeks working on the first act. When he presented that first act, about twenty pages, to our writer’s group, they were somewhat critical but supportive. They gave Herman a lot to think about, including other options for where to start his story. It was all good feedback.

The problem was, Herman is a perfectionist who hates criticism. He thanked everyone for the input, even agreed with much of it, and has not written a word on his script since then. He is so afraid to write something that others may feel is not perfect, that he doesn’t write anything. He keeps talking about his story, trying to work out the ideal set of scenes in his mind, but frankly, talking doesn’t get the baby washed.

I believe it was Hemingway who said: “All first drafts are shit!” And he wasn’t talking about just his first drafts, he was talking about all writer’s first drafts.

Good writing is rewriting and rewriting and rewriting. My first script teacher told me that the average script gets rewritten over twenty times before anyone takes it seriously. I usually make five to six passes through a manuscript before I submit my novel to a publisher.

The idea is to get something down. Make it as good as you can, understanding all the time that you will need to go back and edit, edit, then polish, polish. Sometime you go back and realize that it’s just not right for the story, or drags the pacing down, or that it doesn’t add enough to justify being there. So you cut it. And that’s ok. Much better to cut something than end up with warts sprinkled though your story.

So, bottom line for this week is: when you’re writing a first draft, have the courage to write it down. Even if you know you’re going to throw it way, get your ideas down on paper. You won’t know how good or how bad it is until it’s on paper. The worst thing that will happen is you toss it out and start over. And if you do that, I guarantee the next pass will be better.

Have the courage to write everyday, even if what you’re writing is crap. If you do that, the writing will get better. And frankly, that’s the only way it gets better.

Closure

I’m thinking a great deal about closure today. Since the first week in November I’ve been traveling around Asia, and today marks my last week before flying home. During this trip, I’ve been careful editing my work-in-progress manuscript, focusing on only 5 pages per day, judging each word, every comma, striving for perfection. I have seven pages left.

So in light of completing two major events this week, I’m overjoyed and saddened. Both events, as with most things in life, were fun and interesting, and both moved me further along that path I travel.

I find that, as much as I crave starting something new, I can’t help clinging to what I have now. I suppose that is human nature, that is, true for almost everyone. As a Buddhist, I understand that letting go is key, perhaps even THE key, to happiness. Yet, as simple as that sounds, putting it into practice is far from easy.

Is it fear of the unknown? That somehow sounds too negligible. I mean, I certainly know what it’s like to live at home. It’s a place I love. It allows me to work at a much greater pace, have home-cooked meals, take pleasure in friends and family. The truth is I enjoy being at home as much as I enjoy traveling. And as for finishing a story, I’m actually thrilled, after two years of work, to be able to put this one aside and starting with another set of characters, settings, and situations. You would think I’d be chomping at the bit to be home. Yet, I’m not.

I’m guessing here, but I think it’s just basic fear, fear of change, any change, and I think that is human nature. Unless we are in a horrible situation, our nature is to resist anything different, much as we tell ourselves we need something new. The funny thing is – I’m reaching into my Buddhist roots again – change is constant. Life is continuously changing around us. To fear change is to be, at some level, forever in fear.

The only cure that I can think of for this is to live in the moment. To spend no time worrying about what has already happened, nor what will happen. No thoughts of hopes or regrets.

I’m reminded of a Sunday school lesson that Jesus talked about walking a narrow path to heaven. He said there were thorns on the right of this path, as well as the left. I believe he was talking about time. The path is now, and the thorns on the right and left are past and future. Both Jesus and the Buddha basically said the same thing, focus on the path of NOW, and that leads to heaven.

Sorry, I didn’t intend for this to turn into a sermon. I’m simply trying to understand myself, in an attempt to make sense of my life. Which may in itself be a foolhardy endeavor.

Writing Tip #6 - Character Profiles

Do you know what’s in your protagonist’s wallet – how much money, which credit cards, pictures of who? How much do they have in their checking account? Will he wear socks that have a hole in the toe? Will she look into the medicine cabinet at her friend’s house? Do they check out online porn sites? What is their favorite song, flavor of ice cream, cocktail? What was her/his main fear growing up? Which parent did they love most? What is the main driving force in their life, the thing that burns in their belly? What is the thing they are most afraid of? Do they really believe in God or do they just give religion lip service. Who was their first love, their first sexual experience? What habit does their lover have that drives them up a wall?

If you can’t answer these questions, then you don’t know enough about your main characters. Each character has a backstory that drives that character’s motivations and actions. You as a write must know that backstory intimately, even though 90% of it will not show up in the story you are writing. It is all these character traits that determine how your characters will act, what decisions they make, which way they will jump. It’s not enough to know John loves Adam. The writer must know what it is about Adam that attracts John, and why, and also what Adam does the burns John’s ass. To give a character depth, you must know them as well as you know yourself, and certainly better than they know themselves. You are their God, and you see all the way into their heart. Nothing can hide from you.

If you don’t take the time to know your characters – all your main characters – they will seem shallow, one-dimensional. Most readers quickly lose interest in shallow characters. The following is a starting point that I sometimes use in getting to know a character. I’ve known writer who write 30-50 page character profiles. I think that’s overkill, but each writer is different. For minor characters this will probably be enough. For key characters, you will want to add much more meat to the skeleton below. It takes me months to work out an important player, but the following is what I use to start that process.


Physiology:
Sex: Male

Age: 28 H&W: 6’2”, 185

Coloring: Black eyes, black hair, amber skin.
Posture: Dignified, slender yet somewhat muscular, meticulously groomed, stylish clothes.
Defects: none.
Heredity: American-Chinese, second generation.

Sociology:
Class: Lower – wore hand-me-downs until he was thirteen. Family works a farm in Lodi. Put himself through school on scholarships.
Occupation: Doctor.
Education: Just graduated medical school with honors.
Home Life: Lives in an apartment near campus with his lover, Campbell Reardon. He has very little money and depends on Campbell’s money to get by. He doesn’t keep in touch with his parents, who tossed him out because he was gay.
Religion: He is too preoccupied with his personal goals to think about a higher power. Although he has read books on Buddhism and is interested in learning more.
Race: American born Chinese. He takes after his mother in looks and temperament.
Community: He feels comfortable in the medical community and the gay community. He is not ashamed of his family’s humble life, but he is determined to be successful. He doesn’t like the limelight, and doesn’t like to be in groups.
Politics: Flaming liberal. Green all the way. Thinks Bush should be tried for war crimes against humanity for the Iraq invasion.
Hobbies: A voracious reader of detective stores, but he always reads the last five pages first, then reads the book. Plays tennis, which is how he met Campbell.

Psychology:
Character Type: Hero – He’s not perfect, but confident about his skills and takes actions without hesitation. He is the bright side of human nature.
Sex Life: Openly gay. He believes in monogamous relationships. He loves his partner, Campbell, and wants them to marry.
Morality: Anything goes, but there is no need to flaunt it or hide it.
Ambition: He wants to serve the community by being a pediatric doctor. Although he dreams about going into research and finding a cure for cancer or AIDS, he has a deep feeling of wanting to help children. .
Temperament: Fun-loving. He likes having fun and making other people happy.
Frustrations: The fact that Campbell refuses to come out. Winston wants to live in an open, loving gay relationship with Campbell, but Campbell is afraid of his family finding out.
Contradictions: He wants to support Campbell and his family, yet he wants Campbell to be open about their relationship.
I.Q.: Much higher than normal, but he consciously tries not to flaunt it.
Superstitions: Things always happen in threes. No such thing as luck – you get what you want by working hard for it. He wears a lucky coin his mother once gave him, but not for the luck. He also puts much faith in Chinese medicine, particularly Acupressure and Acupuncture.
1st love: His boyfriend, Campbell. They have lived together for months, and Winston wants to take it the next step: marriage.
Sanctuary: The pediatric ward. He loves spending his time helping the children.
Favorite Color: Blue, the color of Campbell’s eyes.
Favorite Music: Cool jazz, but also likes Italian opera.
Drug of choice: Gray Goose Vodka.
Ruling Passion: He will do anything not to hurt the people he loves, even if it means tremendous self-sacrifice.
Fatal Flaw: He expects the world, and especially his family, to revolve around him because he is doing what is – in his mind - right.
His Problem: He wants desperately to marry Campbell, but Campbell is going down a path that will tear them apart.
His transition: He comes to realize that he has the knowledge to expose Blake to keep Campbell from leaving him, but to do that, he will certainly hurt Campbell as well. He decides to give up Campbell rather than hurt him.

Six Key Questions:
1. Is he the protagonist? Yes.
2. What does he want? He wants to marry Campbell and live openly while treating children and helping the community.
3. Why does he want it? Because he feels he should have every right that straight people have, to marry the person he loves.
4. What happens if he fails? He will be crushed, but he won’t slink away to the closet.
5. How does he change? He realizes that living openly, and raising a family is more important to him than Campbell.
6. What is he most afraid of? Losing his integrity.